Divine Math

Here’s a little story about a boy struggling in math, and where he found help. It’s cute:

***

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.
His parents had tried everything… Tutors,
Mentors, flash cards,
Special learning centers. In short, everything
They could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took
Zachary down and enrolled him
In the local Catholic school. After the first
Day, little Zachary came home with a very
Serious look on his face. He
didn’t even kiss his mother
Hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and
Started studying. Books and papers were spread
Out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at
Work. His mother was amazed. She called him down
To dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back
To his room without a word, and in no time, he was back
Hitting the books as hard as before. Thi s went on
For some time, day after day, while the mother
Tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report
Card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his
Room and hit the books. With great trepidation,
His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise,
Little Zachary got an “A” in math. She could no
Longer hold her curiosity.
She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it?
Was it the nuns?” Little Zachary looked at her and
Shook his head, no. “Well, then,” she replied,
Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the
Uniforms? “WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?”

Little Zachary looked at her and said, “Well, on
The first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to
The plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

What do children think about relationships?

I recently got an email with more funny things that kids have said, but this time all their comments were about relationships, dating, and marriage. These are all really funny. 🙂

How do you decide whom to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. –Alan, 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. –Kristen, 10

What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. –Camille, 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. –Freddie, 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. –Derrick, 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids. –Lori, 8

What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. –Lynnette, 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. –Martin, 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. –Craig, 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?
When they’re rich. –Pam, 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. –Curt, 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. –Howard, 8

Is it better to be single or married?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. –Theodore, 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. –Anita, 9

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? –Kevin, 8

And my personal favorite response:

How do you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. –Ricky, 10

–Zach

Some amusing pictures

I got an email a couple days ago that had some rather amusing images in it. I had seen a few of them, which means that you may have seen them too, but some of them I hadn’t. Some of these are quality.


Wow, what a deal! This is wayyyyy cheaper than adoption.


So, you adopt your kids from the place above, and then take them to this gas station for a nice meal!


I never had much faith in McDonalds anyway, but that’s just sad.


You don’t say?!? They’re still dead???

And my personal favourite out of this bunch:


No truer words have ever been published! Pork the one you love. 😉

–Zach