Funny signs

A friend of mine recently sent me a list of funny signs that were actually spotted out and about, and I thought that I would share them here.

Golf club in Scotland:

  1. Back straight, knees bent.
  2. Feet shoulder-width apart.
  3. Form a loose grip.
  4. Keep your head down!
  5. Stay out of the water.
  6. Try not to hit anyone.
  7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.
  8. Don’t stand directly in front of others.
  9. Quiet please… while others are preparing.
  10. Don’t take extra strokes.
  11. Well done. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off!

In an office:
Toilet out of order; please use floor below.

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.

In an office:
Will the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back, or further steps will be taken.

In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car.

Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a farmer’s field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

On a repair shop door:
We can repair ANYTHING
(Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work)

Hope some of those made you chuckle. 🙂


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